In the fashion industry gossip is like a wild fire! Not only do you find it in the ranks of fashion but any industry, and not just the corporate world, it’s like an infectious disease in the personal domain too. I confess, I have gossiped- I easily get swept up in the moment with no malice intended. Chinese whispers can be the grand architect to social decay but a little tongue and cheek gossip doesn’t hurt does it? Or does this make you a bad person? When reading my bible this morning (Grazia) I just had to share this great article....please read
I went to therapy to be “cured’ of my gossiping. No joke- there’s a life coach for everything now. Admittedly it was for a journalism assignment and I was, to put it mildly sceptical. I’m no backstabber, I thought...until my therapist made me do a “gossip audit”. Try it sometime: how many times a day do you utter, “Can you believe...?” My hit rate was shameful. For a career girl, who categorised herself as socially competent, I sure relied heavily on third-party anecdotes to boost my dinner-party repertoire. Three hours on the therapists couch later, I learned I gossip because I’m a) insecure b) consumed by jealousy and c) just as needy as I was at school. Not sounding good.....
As an adult, gossip was my got-to strategy to fill awkward silences, whether “harmless” tidbits about friends’ drunken antic or “guess who had an abortion” life-changers.
I swapped secrets for popularity; it made me feel powerful. It had become my social currency...of the muckiest kind.
So I went cold turkey. It was tough at first- especially when out with my girlfriends. Dissecting other people’s (failing) relationships used to be our standard aperitif. But, as per my therapist’s orders, “If you must talk about someone else, say something positive”
Sounds easy- but you try bigging up others when you’ve had a bad day. Still, I’ve stuck to my guns- because anyone who says not all gossip is bad is kidding themselves.
There’s good news, there’s small talk, but that dirt you’re dishing? Venomous...Gossip is de rigueur (meaning it’s socially compulsory) in high school because we don’t know any better. But we’re women now. How about a little bit of respect for the sisterhood?
I won’t stab you in the back if you don’t stab me....
Deputy Editor- Amy Molloy